Might Have Been the Moonshine (A Whine After Whiskey Story)
by clagjanet
Summary: Yet another slice of life in the Whine After Whiskey Universe. Lee finds himself in hospital - and in trouble with his secret wife.
1. Probably Freudian

_**Author's Note:** It is obvious from the way Amanda and Dotty discuss the dates with Dr. Bain the chiropodist in the broadcast episodes that the episode "The ACM Kid" came before "If Thoughts Could Kill" so I am using that timeline here. Also, for this set of stories, I'm not doing every episode but just the ones that are extra funny because of the premise of this AU, but I will still make reference to events that happen in the untouched episodes._

_That said, if you haven't read the previous stories, "Whine After Whiskey" or its sequel "In Vino Veritas", this story will make a lot more sense if you start there. If you can't be bothered, the only thing you need to know is that Lee and Amanda got accidentally married while drunk a few months ago, decided to keep it secret and… go_.

* * *

Lee rolled the wheelchair back and forth across the hospital room, glanced at his watch, and then began rolling again.

"You are the only person I know who can pace sitting down," sighed Billy. "Lee, what's eating you?"

Lee glared at him. He certainly couldn't tell Billy that he need to call his wife – the wife Billy didn't know he had - and tell her he was stuck in the hospital, but he also couldn't think of a plausible reason to get Billy out of the room so that he could call her without him listening in. It had been hours since he'd tackled Walt and ended up in here and he had no doubt that if anyone from the Agency got to her first, they'd leave her convinced he was half-dead. The only blessing at the moment was that this was one of her volunteer days and she hadn't been at the Agency this morning to witness him doing something as dumb as tackling a crazed gunman. So, now all he needed was to just get out of here and get to her first…

"What's eating me? What are those tests gonna prove, huh? Billy, I do lousy on tests, I clutch!" Lee burst out. "This is ridiculous! Just give me a pair of crutches and let me go home! I'll be fine!"

"You know perfectly well Alec Belmont would have both our heads if I even suggested such a thing," Billy reprimanded him. "It's only three days, Lee. Three days in bed with no paperwork, no worries…"

"No decent wines, no nightclubs," offered up Lee. "No women," he added, knowing Billy would expect it and it would seem convincing.

"Now, now, Scarecrow, that Nurse Chapman seems lovely," grinned Billy.

"She's a bruiser, Billy! And she doesn't like me! I mean, who doesn't like _me_?"

"Oh yes, you're perfectly lovable when you're like this," Billy replied with an eye roll.

"Look, we can make this work," wheedled Lee. "I'll promise faithfully to show up every single day for whatever stupid test Ted Glaser wants me to take if you'll just let me out of Nurse Ratched's clutches. I mean, why do I need to stay in here? It's just running up Agency bills for a hospital stay, right? That's gotta eat into your budget, Billy, and I know how you're always worried about the budget."

"Well, the good news for me is that this doesn't come out of my budget and the bad news for you is that you just gave me the three reasons you can't be trusted, Scarecrow," replied Billy in a severe tone. He lifted his hand and ticked them off on his fingers. "Wine, women, song. I would no more trust you to stay home and off that knee than I'd trust Francine to turn down a date with Prince Andrew."

Lee gave off a primal yelp of frustration and Billy stood up from where he'd been half-sitting on the hospital bed.

"I can see there's no reasoning with you, Lee, but I'll tell you what: I will go talk to your doctors and see if they can at least speed up the process so you don't have to be here as long."

"Gee, thanks," groused Lee.

Billy stopped in the doorway. "I could just go and not come back at all, Scarecrow. You might want to consider staying on my good side." He gave a bark of deep laughter at the look of disgust on Lee's face and disappeared out the door.

Lee had backed up the wheelchair and grabbed the phone within a heartbeat of him leaving, dialling Amanda's house with a silent prayer that he could keep her from finding out about this from anyone else. His mother-in-law's cheerful voice greeted him on the second ring and he made an effort to sound as chipper as she did.

"Hey Dotty, it's Lee, is Amanda there?"

"Oh hello, Lee Darling. No, she's not – it's her Bluebell day today and she won't be home until at least 4 o'clock. Are you coming for dinner? We're having pot roast so there's plenty. Fred Bain is coming and I think it would be good for him to see you and Amanda all lovey-dovey. Might move him along a little if you know what I mean."

Lee's stomach growled. He hadn't eaten breakfast as usual, and then, what with the whole Walt thing, he'd never had a chance to eat anything else. Despite his current state of distraction, his mouth actually watered at the thought of how good that pot roast was going to be.

"No, I'm afraid not, Dotty. I'm… well, I'm not going to be over for a few days – it's a long story…"

"Oh dear, are you being sent out of town on one of those, what do you call them? Location shoots?"

"Something like that," he answered. "Maybe you can put some aside for me? For when I get back?"

"Well, it is better after a few days," said Dotty. "But I doubt it will last that long with Phillip in the house. Honest to goodness, some days, I swear that boy has hollow legs!"

"I was the same at that age," answered Lee. "Look, could you tell Amanda-"

"Tell Amanda what?" said a voice in the doorway.

Lee slowly turned his head and grimaced. Amanda was standing there like an avenging angel, arms crossed and while he couldn't see her feet from this angle, he'd bet his last dollar that she was tapping a foot menacingly. She was dressed in some kind of blue apron thing – he winced again as he realized that's what Dotty had meant about it being a Bluebell day.

"Tell Amanda what?" said Dotty's voice in his ear.

"You know what, never mind. I'll tell her myself," he said. "Talk to you later, Dotty!" He hung up the phone and rolled the chair forward slowly, putting on his most charming smile. "Hi Honey! That shade of blue looks really nice on you."

"Hi Honey?" an obviously irked Amanda mimicked him. "Really? That's what you're going with? Because you are not going to sweet talk your way out of this with compliments, Stetson," she said, stalking toward him. "Oh no, you're really not, because imagine my surprise when I was at the nurses' station just now and they were complaining about the very handsome but very annoying man in Room 409 who was making everyone crazy with his demands and his complaints and his bad manners and I ask 'well, really, how bad can he be?' and they all say 'he's a nightmare' and then it turns out to be YOU!"

"They said I was handsome?" he quipped, relieved when he caught the slightest twitch in her lips.

"And very annoying," she answered. She was now standing in front of him, hands on her hips, looking down at him with an expression that he would guess Phillip and Jamie were very familiar with. "Now, when exactly were you planning on telling me about this?" She tapped the leg brace, a glint of worry crossing her face when he flinched reflexively.

"I was calling you just now," he said, the picture of injured innocence. "Honest! First chance I got, I called."

"Just now, huh? And you've been here how long?"

"A couple of hours," he admitted.

"A couple?"

"Four. Okay, maybe six," he corrected himself when her eyes narrowed.

She leaned down, put her hands on the arm rests of the wheelchair and looked him in the eye. "You have been in a hospital for _six_ hours and I had to find out from overhearing gossip in the hallway?"

"It was my first chance to call!" he defended himself. "They've had me in scans and x-rays and labs all day and now they want to keep me here for three more days for tests!" he finished with a miserable expression.

Amanda sat back on the edge of the bed with a thump. "Three days? What's wrong with you?"

"Nothing's wrong with me!" he flared up. "I just hurt my knee a little and now that they got me in here, they've decided to keep me hostage!"

Amanda's lips twitched. "Lee, I don't believe they want to keep you at all. I mean the nurses definitely don't, so how about you tell me what really happened. How did you hurt your leg?"

"I fell," he offered, trying not to lie.

"You fell?" she repeated, her skepticism evident. She quirked up a brow, obviously waiting for more.

"Through a window."

"Through a window?" she exclaimed, sitting up straighter. "I thought you were on desk duty today, catching up on your reports!"

"I was. This was at work."

Amanda leaned forward and began checking his head for bumps. "Sweetheart, you work underground. There are no windows."

Lee grabbed her hand and brought it to his lips, kissing it with a chuckle. "The bullpen window."

"How on earth did you fall through the bullpen window?"

Lee braced himself to tell her the whole story. "There was an incident. And I don't want you to worry because this isn't something that has ever happened before and the Agency is really a very safe place… but Walt Kimball – have you met him? He works in Munitions – anyway, he had some kind of breakdown and started waving a gun around and I was worried someone would get hurt so I tackled him and we fell through the window. He didn't hurt me but I banged my knee pretty hard on the landing."

"Oh my gosh!" Amanda was wide-eyed now. "You poor thing! Did they figure out what happened to him to make him do that?"

"Not that I know of – I think he's in here somewhere too because I knocked him out during the fight and he hadn't come around yet when they loaded him in the ambulance." He squeezed her hand. "Amanda, you have got to help me get out of here. I hate hospitals! I can't be stuck in here for three days! I'll go as crazy as Walt!"

The door swung open and Amanda quickly tugged her hand out of Lee's.

"Oh hello, Amanda," said Billy, looking confused. "I didn't expect to find you here. I thought this floor was limited to hospital workers – how did you get in?"

"Oh well, that was easy. I just told them I was Lee's wife!" she answered cheerfully.

"What?" yelped Lee as Billy gaped at her, stunned.

"Oh yes, I just said I was Mrs. Stetson and waltzed right in," she went on, ignoring Lee's strangled protests. "Lee always told me the secret to a good cover is to just act as if you believe every word is true. So I just threw myself into it! I looked them straight in the eye, told them I was here to see my poor injured husband and to tend to his every need and you know, Lee was right - they believed every word of it and told me exactly where to find him."

There was a beat of silence and identical looks of horrified amazement on the two men's faces before she began to laugh. "Oh Mr. Melrose, I'm just teasing! I'm a hospital volunteer and I heard them mention Lee's name at the nurses' station, so I came by to see if there was anything I could do for him." She stood up and gestured to her uniform to prove her story.

Billy's face cleared as Lee slumped back in the chair in relief.

"Well, that's a lot more believable," Billy chuckled.

"Yes indeed, Sir. After all, who on earth would believe Lee would get married and keep it secret?" asked Amanda with an innocent expression. She chanced a look at Lee and knew he'd be getting his revenge for this later. "So Lee, is there anything I can do? Get you a magazine? Maybe a chocolate bar from the Ladies Auxiliary cart?"

"How about a sponge bath?" said Lee with a leer.

"Scarecrow!" said Billy, outraged. "That was uncalled for! Apologize! Now!"

Lee went scarlet, embarrassed that he'd let his mouth get so far ahead of his brain for that one moment, and Amanda was red-faced too, trying desperately to hold in her laughter.

"Sorry, Amanda," he mumbled. "That was rude of me."

"It's fine, Lee. I'm sure having a big ouch-ie like that is making you extra grumpy. And Bedside Bluebells aren't really in charge of that sort of thing," she replied cheerfully, patting his hand with a maternal air. "But I'm sure that nice Nurse Chapman will help you out with that."

Lee looked stricken at the reminder of his nemesis. "Billy, I'm begging you! Please don't make me stay here!"

Billy rolled his eyes in exasperation. "Scarecrow, you know I don't have the authority to allow that and even if I did, I still wouldn't because you need to stay off that leg and you won't be doing that if you're going back and forth to do all your physical tests here!"

"Oh yes – the tests! Lee mentioned that," interrupted Amanda. "So what kind of physical tests? Lee, are you alright?" she asked before catching Billy's interested look at her intrusive question.

"Just standard Agency stuff," grumbled Lee, waving aside her concern. "Which I could do anytime but they're taking advantage of me being a cripple to hold me captive in here!"

"Oh I'm sure it won't be that bad," encouraged Amanda. "Think of all the reading you could catch up on. And I'm sure people will come to visit, keep you company…"

Billy snapped his fingers. "That's it! Amanda, do you think you could be a Bluebell for a few more days? Keep an eye on Lee for me, keep him from annoying the staff, that sort of thing? All as part of your paying job, of course. "

Amanda glanced at Lee who was looking at her like she was an oasis in a desert. "Well, I suppose so, Sir. What do you think, Lee?" she asked him in an artificially artless voice. "Would you like it if I stayed and kept you company while you're in here?"

"I think that sounds very… okay," he answered, trying to sound surly.

"Excellent!" Billy beamed. "Um, Amanda… could I just talk to you outside for a minute?" He gestured with his head to the door.

"Of course, Sir." Amanda whisked past him and out into the corridor. She stuck her hands in her apron pockets and looked at him expectantly.

"Amanda," Billy began, trying to find the words. "About Lee…"

"Ýes, Sir?"

"Lee is notorious for not being a good patient," he began to explain. "He's been ditching these tests for three years now and IA is going to come down on him like a ton of bricks if he doesn't get them done. Do you understand?"

Amanda nodded.

"So you see, in some ways, him injuring himself like this is a godsend because he can't talk his way out of it. But I think you should know, before you agree to help him for the next few days… it's going to be, well, it's probably going to be unpleasant. If you want to change your mind, I wouldn't blame you one bit."

"Oh no, Sir, it'll be fine. I'm sure he can't be as bad as you think."

Billy shook his head despondently. "Oh, I think he can. And honestly, it will probably make your life easier if you just let him have whatever he wants – within limits, of course."

"Oh," said Amanda. She leaned in, whispering, "Am I going to have to give him that sponge bath he asked for? Because if the Agency needs me to do that, I'll do it. I mean, you're right, it would probably be unpleasant, but I'll do it. For my country." She laid her hand over her heart and looked solemn.

Billy had begun to chuckle almost immediately at her ramble and had given into full-blown wheezing by the end. "You'll handle him just fine, won't you, Amanda?" he asked, wiping his eyes. "I don't know why I was worried. You're just going to treat him like one of your boys, aren't you?"

"Oh, I really don't think it'll come to that," Amanda smiled at him. "He's just grumpy from the pain and needs distracting. I won't take any of his complaining too seriously."

"Well, good luck with that," replied Billy. "I can't believe what a stroke of luck it is that you were here today."

"Kismet," answered Amanda. "Apparently I'm just doomed to be in the wrong place at the right time when it comes to Lee."

"Well thank you for agreeing to take him on," said Billy, chuckling again. "And if he gives you any trouble, or you need anything at all, you call me."

"I sure will," Amanda smiled back at him. "Don't you worry about a thing."

She waited for Billy to board the elevator before turning to walk back into Lee's room.

"_I told them I was his wife_," he mimicked her as soon as she entered. "I can't believe you said that! I almost had a heart attack!"

"Well, at least you were in the right place for that. And besides, I owed you one," she dimpled at him as she crossed the room and took his hands in hers. "After the other week when you told me you had a kid." She leaned down to kiss him, a kiss that soon became longer as he lifted a hand to cup the back of her head and hold her close. They pulled apart, but not too far, Lee's lips slipping across her cheek.

"I didn't say it was _my_ kid," he murmured, laughing softly. "I said I had _a_ kid."

"Oh, like that made any difference at the time," she said, as she pulled back and looked at him fondly. "Sometimes I think you thought I'd only help Alexi if I thought he was yours."

"No, you don't," Lee said seriously. "You know I knew you were just what he needed."

"Oh, I think you would have done fine on your own. You have that whole video game and bribery thing down pat."

"Phillip and Jamie have been a useful learning experience," he admitted. "Fortunately, we got him back to his parents before he started angling for a puppy. Now come on, let's go for a walk."

"You're not supposed to be walking," she started to reprimand him.

"Okay, you walk, I'll roll," he conceded. "I want to go see if I can find Walt and see how he's doing."

Are you sure you should?" Amanda asked, flippantly. "What if you have to beat him up again? Sounds like your knee is already bad enough without any extra karate kicks."

"Of course I won't! He's a good friend! I know his wife and kids, for crying out loud!" Lee exclaimed, defensively. As Amanda looked ashamed at misreading his intentions, he persisted. "Come on, Amanda, I had to take him out with force and I'm worried about him. He's the last guy I'd ever think would succumb to burnout."

"Well, okay," said Amanda. "Mr. Melrose did say I could let you do anything within reason. Will you promise to stay in the wheelchair?"

"Oh Amanda, I'll feel like an idiot, being pushed around like an old man!"

"But Lee, I could get in trouble with Mr. Melrose if you don't behave, and you wouldn't want that would you, Sweetheart?" She gave him her best pleading look.

Lee glared at her, torn between laughter and exasperation. "Is this what the next three days are going to be like? Maybe I should have stuck with the mean nurse."

"Oh I'm sure you don't mean that," said Amanda, starting to roll him out of the room. "She doesn't seem like your type at all."


	2. Spiked Punch

"I thought you said you just punched him," whispered Amanda as they left Walt's room, after consoling his wife, Janet.

"I did," hissed Lee.

"Then why is he still unconscious?"

"I don't know, but I don't like it. I didn't even hit him hard enough to knock him out – only to disarm him. He shouldn't still be out." Lee brooded, concerned about his friend.

"Well, I'm sure it wasn't anything you did, Sweetheart," Amanda reassured him. "And even if it was a punch that went wrong and injured him, that Doctor Glaser fellow doesn't seem too concerned."

Lee twisted in the wheelchair and glared up at her. "That's what I mean about that guy! Why wasn't he more concerned about Walt? He barely looked him over and just tapped at the machines he's hooked up to! Why isn't he worried that Walt is still out after all these hours?"

"Well, maybe he's just trying to appear calm so that Janet doesn't worry too much," Amanda suggested. "And maybe this all ties in with whatever led to Walt having that breakdown in the first place.

"Ted Glaser gives me the chills – always has," grumbled Lee. "He spent a whole lot of Agency money on crazy science projects that never went anywhere. I think he's a quack."

"Well, for the next few days, he's your quack," teased Amanda as they re-entered Lee's room. "Now let me help you get back into bed." She set the brakes on the wheelchair and held out her hands.

Lee seized them and braced himself to get out of the chair with his good leg, then stood close to her, still holding her hands. "Wanna get back into bed with me?" he murmured, leaning down to kiss her.

Amanda let herself get lost in the kiss for quite a long time before finally pulling back. "Tempting as that is, I'm going to say no. That bed is much too small for two people."

"It can be managed," Lee answered with a grin. "Or so I've been told," he added quickly when she raised an inquiring brow.

"I'm sure it can," she smiled. "But settle down there, Ricky Joe, I think I'll save myself for a large bed… and a man with all his parts working."

"All my important parts are working!" he replied immediately. "Guaranteed disappointment-free," he added, with a growl. "I can prove it."

Amanda linked her arms around his neck and pulled him close. "Sweetheart, you know I was teasing about that – I have never… ever…ever… been disappointed." She gave him a lingering kiss "But if you hurt yourself more proving that, you'll be stuck in here longer," she pointed out. "Now hop into bed and let me tuck you in," she teased, stepping around him and moving to pull the blankets back.

"I don't want to be tucked in," he whined, as he dragged himself up onto the bed.

"And there's no need for you to be so, Mr. Stetson."

Lee and Amanda both started at the unexpected voice behind them. Amanda turned to stare at the doctor who was standing in the doorway.

"I'm Dr. Chrysler, Dr. Glaser's associate. And, in accordance with your wishes to be discharged quickly, Scarecrow, we're going to start some of your tests tonight."

"Now?" asked Amanda, slightly disappointed. She had been planning to stay with Lee a little longer but she was going to have to leave soon to get home for dinner with the boys.

"Mr. Stetson expressed a wish to move all this along, and as our diagnostic tools increase, so does the time required to use them," explained the doctor.

"What does that even mean?" asked Amanda.

"Nothing a volunteer would need to understand," answered Chrysler loftily.

"It's just medical gobbledygook to say they want longer to poke and prod and annoy me," growled Lee.

"That's your interpretation, Scarecrow," said the doctor handing Lee a pill in a cup. "But you asked for expediency, so we'll be doing some of the tests this evening."

"What's this?" asked Lee with a look of distaste, but making no move to take it.

"It's a relaxant. It readies the body for the metabolic phase of the test," said Dr. Chrysler.

Amanda reached for a nearby jug and poured out a cup of water for Lee, handing it to him with a sigh. "Well, since you're in such good hands, I guess I'll leave." Then, unable to hide her smile at his woebegone expression, she gave Lee a pat on the shoulder and said, "Don't worry. I'm sure there are no needles involved," immediately feeling bad at the look of panic that went across Lee's face. She squeezed his hand and whispered, "I'll see you in the morning, okay?"

Lee nodded, looking miserable. "Yeah, see you then."

There was no way for a proper goodbye with Dr. Chrysler in the room, so she waited until she was behind him and on her way out the door to blow Lee a kiss.

"Mrs. King, I hope you're not flirting with the patients," said Nurse Chapman as she sailed down the hospital corridor. "That would be quite improper and completely against hospital regulations!"

"Oh no, Ma'am," said Amanda demurely. "I was just giving him the kiss off since he was so difficult today."

"Well, you wouldn't be the first to fall for his charms," said Nurse Chapman in acid tones. "Not that I've ever seen any sign of them!"

"No indeed," Amanda agreed. "I'm sure I don't know what all the fuss is about."

The older woman glared as if she wasn't quite sure if Amanda was joking or not. "Good night, Mrs. King. Volunteer hours are over."

"Good night! See you tomorrow!" Amanda gave the nurse a little wave and walked away.

"Doesn't see what all the fuss is about," grumbled Nurse Chapman under her breath. "Sure she doesn't."


	3. Some Time, Some Dinner, But No Wine

"Are you decent?" Amanda stuck her head around the door into Lee's room.

"Am I ever?" he asked, a smile lighting up his face as he struggled to sit up in his bed. "Especially when you're around?"

"Now that's just what I like to hear," said Dotty cheerfully as she walked around Amanda and into the room, carrying a vase of flowers. "Newlyweds in their honeymoon stage are always so adorable."

"Mother!" Amanda groaned, even as she held back a laugh at the look of horrified embarrassment on Lee's face. "Keep your voice down! No one is supposed to know that, remember?"

"Oh I know, Darling," said Dotty airily. "But no one ever takes old women seriously when we make jokes like that anyway."

"But they might believe a young vibrant knockout like you, Dotty," grinned Lee.

"Aren't you so sweet? Remind me to never let you loose on my garden club, Lee – you'd be far too dangerous to the susceptible ladies there," Dotty beamed as she came forward to kiss his cheek. "Now, Darling, I brought you flowers from the garden. Those flower shop bouquets are always so overpriced and besides, you want something familiar, don't you, not those ridiculous hothouse arrangements."

"They're lovely," replied Lee with compete honesty, taking the vase and inhaling the fresh scent. "You really didn't need to bother though. I'm planning on breaking out of here as fast as I can."

"It was no bother," said Dotty. "And besides you have to bring a gift to hospital patients – it's practically the law."

"In those Agatha Christie novels you're always reading, don't they always bring grapes?" quipped Amanda as she took her mother's coat and draped it over the back of the visitor chair.

"Oh I brought something better than grapes," said Dotty, reaching for her bag. "When Amanda told me where you were, I knew exactly what you'd want."

"Did you fit a pizza in there?" Lee asked hopefully.

"Close! I brought this!" Dotty finished wrestling with something and pulled a Tupperware container out with an air of triumph. "I know how you love a home cooked meal so if you can't come for dinner, the pot roast comes to you!"

"Yes!" exclaimed Lee with glee as he reached for it, even as Amanda exclaimed "Mother!" disapprovingly.

"Amanda, you know the hospital food is terrible, and it's not like poor Lee is going to be on some special diet for a broken knee, now is he?" asked Dotty. "Here you go, Dear," she said, handing Lee a fork from another part of her purse, like some sort of Mary Poppins.

"Thanks, Dotty," said Lee. "You are a lifesaver. I swear they gave me nothing but Jell-o for dinner and gruel for breakfast."

"Oh for heaven's sake, they did _not _give you gruel! You are being so childish," Amanda lectured him. Her face softened at his hurt expression. "Then again, I suppose it can't do any harm," she sighed. "And it's probably better than what I brought you," she confessed as she reached into her apron pocket and pulled out a Chewy Chubby chocolate bar. When Lee reached for it with a happy sound, she pulled it out of reach. "No, you can have your dessert later," she reprimanded him.

"Fine," he pouted. "But I know which one of you is my favorite today."

As Dotty fussed with the flowers on the window sill, Amanda sat on the edge of the bed and leaned in to greet him properly at last. After a long kiss, Lee wrapped his arms around her waist and rested his head in the crook of her neck for a moment, content simply to hold her. He had woken up grumpy and tense, but somehow, there was something calming about Amanda, something that left him feeling relaxed and safe.

Eventually she pulled back just far enough to run her hand along his forehead and down his cheek. "How are you doing? You look tired. Did your knee keep you awake last night?"

"No," Lee frowned as he shook his head. "My knee didn't bother me at all, but I kept having these weird dreams all night, or a kind of nightmare I guess. I feel like I didn't sleep a wink."

"Well, I know I always sleep badly when I'm in a strange bed," commented Dotty.

"I don't think that was it," said Lee. "And I'm pretty used to sleeping in strange beds anyway. From being on locations and stuff!" he rushed to add when both Amanda and Dotty began to laugh.

"I'm sure that's exactly what you meant, Sweetheart," said Amanda, as he pulled her close again for another kiss. She stood up and began fluffing his pillows and straightening his covers. "Now, how did your tests go last night?"

"Fine." Lee paused, his forehead furrowing. "At least I think they did." He reached for the pot roast container and opened it. "Succotash too? Dotty, you are definitely my favorite." He immediately began wolfing down his unconventional breakfast.

"Well, at least now I know what to do to get you to eat in the morning," commented Amanda. "Offer it as an alternative to hospital food."

"What kind of tests?" asked Dotty, dragging them back to the previous topic. "Why do you need tests when you only hurt your knee?"

"Oh, just regular fitness stuff," Lee waved off the question. "I have to get some stuff done for my health insurance at work."

"And you don't think they went well?" asked Amanda with concern.

"No, I just don't really remember them," said Lee. "I must have dozed off while they were doing all the measurements. I know they took some blood samples though – so there goes your promise there wouldn't be any needles!" he pouted as he jabbed his fork in Amanda's direction.

"Aw, I'm sorry, Lee," she smiled and leaned in to kiss his temple again. "But I never promised any such thing."

"Yeah, well, there were a lot of needles," he complained. "I hate this. I want to go home."

"Why do you have to stay in the hospital for these tests?" asked Dotty.

"Well, there's the tests and there's also the knee. I'm supposed to stay off it," said Lee mournfully. "And I can't do that at the apartment."

"Well, you don't have to stay at the apartment, Darling. You could come stay at the house," pointed out Dotty.

Lee and Amanda exchanged stupefied looks.

"Oh Mother, I don't think…"

"Well, why not?" asked Dotty. "If you're worried about the boys, there's no reason to be. Lee would stay on the pull-out couch just like any other house guest, anyway, because it's not like he can keep going up and down the stairs. And then you'd have someone around all the time to help you," she finished with a triumphant look.

"Well, I, uh…" Lee stammered.

"And the living room can be closed off, so you'd have privacy, if that's what's worrying you."

"Well, Mother, you know there's that rule at the office about employees dating…" Amanda had to smile when her mother rolled her eyes. "But you know…" She turned to Lee. "Mr. Melrose already knows we're friends and that you've met my family. We could probably come up with a story that would make it sound reasonable."

"And we could say it would make it easier for you to drive me back and forth to work," Lee was looking hopeful, but then his face fell. "But they'll still insist on getting these tests done."

"Do you need to be staying here to do those though?" Dotty asked. "I mean, they're not doing them at night, are they?"

"Well, they did last night," Amanda pointed out.

"That's odd – why at night?"

"Well, it started because I wanted to get out of here quicker and they were doing me a favor," said Lee, picking up the last of the pot roast and shovelling it into his mouth, then chewed while he thought about it. "But if Billy goes along with it and you promise to get me here every day, I don't see why they'd have to be at night."

"I have to promise him? Why don't you have to promise him you'll show up?" asked Amanda.

"Because he'll only believe it if _you_ promise," Lee grinned.

"Sounds like this Mr. Melrose knows you pretty well," said Dotty, as Amanda laughed.

"Wow – that pot roast was magical, Dotty," said Lee, falling back against his pillows. "I feel a hundred times better."

"Do you want to go outside? Sit in the sun for a while?" asked Amanda. "It's a beautiful day. I can check with the nurses and make sure it's okay."

"That would be great," said Lee. "Let's go."

"You two have fun," said Dotty, packing up the empty Tupperware and dropping it back into her purse. "Amanda, I'll come and find you before I leave, but I imagine I'll be in Orthopedics for a few hours."

"Why are you going there?" asked Lee. "Do you volunteer here too?"

"Oh, Lee, I can't believe I forgot to tell you!" exclaimed Dotty. "I mean I would have come to visit you anyway, of course, but you're not the only poor injured soul here today."

"I'm not?" Lee looked at her, startled. "Are you hurt?"

"No, but poor Fred Bain is," she sighed. "Broken toes."

"What did you do to Fred?" he asked, laughing. "Weren't the two of you out at your Tuesday night square dancing class? Don't tell me someone as slim as you could break a man's toes!"

"It's so sweet that you always remember these things, Lee, Darling," Dotty beamed at him. "But we never got that far. During dinner, Jamie mentioned that his skateboard was broken, so Fred decided to see if he could fix it."

"With his toes?"

"No, of course not," laughed Dotty. "He managed to fix it just fine - but then he dropped the wrench on his foot and of course, just like a man, he said it was perfectly fine and he'd just walk it off. Until this morning when it was so swollen, he couldn't get his shoe on! So he called Amanda to see if she was volunteering again today and ask if he could get a ride because of course, he can't drive with no shoes. He's downstairs getting x-rays."

"Ow," Lee winced, sympathetically.

"Anyway, that's where I'm off to. Amanda, I'm sure you'll be here all day, so I'll go home with Fred by cab. You two have fun!" Dotty gave Lee a kiss on the cheek, waved at Amanda and whisked out the door.

Lee swung his legs off the bed with a grimace and reached for the wheelchair.

"Don't do that by yourself!" Amanda scolded. "That's how you'll end up hurting yourself worse!" She rushed forward to steady him as he stood, only to have him snake a hand around her waist and pull her in tight against him.

"Alone at last," he murmured, pulling her in for a much longer languorous kiss than they'd had with Dotty in the room. "I missed you," he said. "You were gone too long and I had to spend the night all alone."

"I've only been gone since last night," she chortled, running her hands along his upper arms. "And you spend almost every night alone anyway."

"Yes, but that's at home – and at home, my pillow smells like you. And my sheets. And my favorite sweatshirt…" he grinned and was just leaning in for another kiss, when the door swung open.

"Mr. Stetson, I certainly hope this isn't what it looks like," said Nurse Chapman. "Because I have already had to warn Mrs. King about the rules about fraternizing with -"

"The enemy?" Lee couldn't help himself. He glanced down at Amanda who was pressing her lips together and shaking, trying not to laugh out loud.

"The patients!" snapped the nurse. "Now what is going on here?"

"I was just helping Mr. Stetson into his wheelchair, and he overbalanced," said Amanda, turning to look over her shoulder with an innocent expression. "What did you think was going on?"

The nurse's teeth snapped closed with an audible click. "Well, from what I hear about Mr. Stetson's previous stays with us, I would suspect the worst!"

"Really? I've found him to be a perfect gentleman," said Amanda, giving Lee a little push to sit in the wheelchair and trying not to squeak when he purposely goosed her as he did so. "I was just going to take him out to the garden if that would be alright? My mother always said that sunshine is the best medicine for almost anything."

"I'm not sure that it will have much effect on his lateral-collateral ligament," said Nurse Chapmen acidly. "But by all means, please take him outside. The nurses will be relieved to be free of all his complaints."

"Oh, Mr. Stetson, have you really been complaining that much?" said Amanda as she pushed his chair out of the room. "I find that so hard to believe," she continued, trying not to laugh when Lee gave the nurse a sarcastic little wave as they left.


	4. Definitely Freudian

"I still don't like hospitals," Lee twisted in his chair to smile up at her over his shoulder as they rolled down the corridor, "but they sure are better when you're here."

"Well, that's just what a Bedside Bluebell wants to hear, Mr. Stetson," announced Amanda cheerily, nodding her head at a passing candy striper. "Good morning, Barbie!" she sang out to her and got an answering smile and greeting from the tiny brunette.

"So formal, Mrs. Stetson," he murmured, teasing her.

Amanda continued to push his chair, eyes straight ahead but smiling. "Just acting professional, unlike some people," she whispered back. She raised her voice back to a normal level. "Now let's get you outside into the nice fresh air!"

"Well, good morning, Scarecrow," Dr. Glaser greeted them as they rounded the corner. "Slept well, I trust? Ready for this afternoon's tests?"

Amanda didn't need to see Lee's face to know that he had tensed up instantly at the sight of the doctor. The back of his neck was getting redder and his fingers were gripping the armrests of the wheelchair.

"Not really," he replied, sounding surly. "I don't like hospitals. All the noise gives me nightmares and keeps me from getting any decent sleep."

"Well, we'll do our best to get these tests done quickly then," said Dr. Glaser, smiling.

_He smiles with his teeth, but not his eyes_ thought Amanda _He looks like the Big Bad Wolf._

"How many more tests are there?" complained Lee. "I hope you don't have to take more vats of blood out of me."

"We shouldn't have to," said Glaser with false joviality. "I'll send Dr. Chrysler up to your room to collect you in an hour – I'm sure we can make great progress if we just double down on getting these done."

"Can I take Mr. Stetson outside in the meantime?" asked Amanda. "To get some fresh air? I promise to have him back here by then."

"Oh yes, that should be fine. Mrs. King, is it?" he said, glancing at her name tag. "Are you a regular volunteer here?"

"Oh yes, every week, regular as clockwork," she answered. "It just brings me such joy to help people – but you must know that being a doctor."

Glaser gave Lee a glance, quickly hiding the look of contempt that crossed his face. "Oh yes, there are aspects of this job that make me very happy indeed. I trust you'll let us know if Mr. Stetson here gives you any trouble?"

Lee had been slouching lower and lower in his chair as if the doctor's voice was causing him pain and Amanda decided to end the conversation quickly.

"I certainly will! But for now, we'll be on our way!" She moved the chair around the doctor and moved quickly down the hall to the elevator. She glanced back to see Dr. Glaser still standing in the same spot, watching them.

"You're right. That man gives me the creeps," she said as the elevator door closed behind them. She leaned down to give Lee a quick kiss on the top of his head, now that they were away from prying eyes.

"I wish you could stay with me for the tests," he complained. "I hate that kind of thing."

"You just seem to hate everything about hospitals," she teased as the elevator door opened on the ground floor and she pushed him toward the garden door. "The doctors, the nurses, the food, the noise…"

"You would too, if you'd been in them as often as I have," he grumbled.

"Maybe you should just try harder not to end up in them," she replied as she rolled them up to a table and set the chair's brakes, taking the opportunity to ruffle his hair.

"It's been like this my whole life! Do you know, when I was a kid, I went in to have my tonsils out – and they took out my appendix too!"

Amanda beamed at him fondly as she settled into a chair beside him. "Oh now come on, why would they take out your appendix for no reason?"

"The doc said he had some spare time," Lee grumbled.

"Well, I can assure you that I've inventoried all your scars very carefully and you do not have one anywhere near your appendix," she teased.

"Oh?" he couldn't help but smile back at her. "Very carefully?"

"I was very thorough. I'm surprised you've forgotten," she said, her demure look at odds with her words.

"Yeah, well, with my luck that just means they have an excuse to go back in there," he answered with a sigh. "I hate doctors."

"All of them? Or just Glaser? Your hackles went up like a junkyard dog when he showed up just now. You were practically growling and baring your teeth."

"Most of them, but especially him," he conceded. "You know how sometimes you wake up and you're really mad at someone in real life because they did something to you in a dream, even if you can't remember it?" When Amanda nodded, he went on, "That's how I feel about Glaser. I think whatever it was that I was dreaming about last night got all tied up with those tests and me already not liking him."

"But you don't remember the dreams?" Amanda prompted him.

"Not really. Just the sensations – a kind of sinking feeling… and everything being hot and steamy… and a blue door."

"Well, up until the door it sounded kind of Freudian," Amanda smiled at him. "Probably sexual."

Lee had to laugh at that. "Yeah, well, if that had been true, you probably would have been in them, and I don't remember you." He paused and looked thoughtful. "Actually, maybe you were. I feel like I was looking for you because there was something dangerous behind the door and I was worried about you."

"Well, I'm right here," she said, reaching to take his hand. "So now you don't need to worry."

Lee lifted her hand to his lips for a brief kiss, then sighed. "Except for the tests this afternoon."

"Oh Lee, how bad can they be?"

"I know, I know – I just can't shake this feeling of dread."

"I bet I can help you shake it, Big Fella" Amanda teased him.

"Really?" Lee looked hopeful, than glanced around. "Here? With all these people around? I mean, I'm certainly willing but maybe we should go back to the room."

"You are a menace," she laughed, reaching into her apron pocket. "I meant with this," she explained, handing him the chocolate bar she'd revealed earlier. "I think that's quite enough sugar for you – until we get you out of here anyway."

Lee groaned but grabbed the bar out of her hand. "You are a tease, Amanda Stetson."

"It's just so easy," she replied, ruffling his hair again.

Oh! That reminds me," he said, swallowing down his first bite. "Could you pick some stuff up at the apartment for me?"

"I suppose so. I'll have time this afternoon while you're doing your tests. What do you need?"

"My comb," he said seriously.

"Your comb?" She couldn't bite back the giggle that escaped.

"Yes, the black Ace one with the two missing teeth. It's on the coffee table underneath the stack of magazines."

"No it's not," Amanda answered.

"Of course it is," he said. "That's where it always is."

"No, it's in the bathroom, on the shelf beside the sink," she said, taking the chocolate bar and taking a bite before handing to back. "I tidied up when I was over there on the weekend, remember?" she managed to say around a mouth full of chocolate and caramel.

"I hate when you do that," he complained.

"Steal your candy?"

"No, move my stuff!"

"Really? Because at the time, you told me how nice it was to see the surface of your coffee table again," Amanda said.

"Hmph," he growled. "I did, didn't I?"

Amanda gave him her most innocent look until he finally started to laugh. "Okay, so I don't _hate_ it, but I do keep losing track of things when you move them."

"I do it so that you have to call and ask," she explained. "That way I get to hear your sexy voice over the phone."

"Couldn't you just call me?" he laughed harder. "Instead of hiding my stuff?"

"Oh but Sweetheart, when you're irritated, there's that extra edge in your voice that's just so… swoony!" She put her hand over her heart with a dramatic air.

Lee rolled his eyes. "I can't believe I signed up for this."

"Well, I took advantage of you while you were drunk," she said with laughing eyes.

"Is that how it happened?" Lee asked, taking her hand again. "I can never remember."

"It might have been the other way around, but I can never remember either," she admitted. "But they were definitely your handcuffs!" They sat grinning stupidly at each other before she finally said, "Now was there anything else you want from your apartment? Because I should be getting you back upstairs to meet Dr. Creepy."

"The book on my bedside table, I guess. It will give me something to do when I can't sleep again. And clean pajamas. Did you know your hem is uneven?" he asked suddenly as she stood up.

Amanda looked down in confusion. "It is?"

"Yes, it was fine yesterday and today it sags, no doubt about it."

Amanda looked at him in disbelief. "Well, I can't see it. And since when do you notice things like that?"

"Oh come on, Amanda – it's my job to notice the small details. Details are important. Precision is what separates the slobs from the princes."

"Heavens, have you need reading Mother's self-help books again?" she said lightly. For a moment Lee frowned and her smile faltered. "What's the matter, Lee? Is your knee bothering you?"

"No, I just… bah, I can't figure it out!" he burst out. "All this stuff with the dreams and Walt and Billy…"

"Billy? What about Billy?" she asked.

"He's…" Lee screwed up his face as if he could force the thought into clarity. "I don't know why I said Billy. But Walt… now that is bothering me. Why did he do it?"

Amanda stood, licking the last of the chocolate off her fingers and wiping them on her apron. "You said Walt was a very good agent. So, why would he want to cause trouble?

"I don't know, I don't know," Lee tapped the table in frustration. "I mean, agents have gone sour before. Maybe Walt was being blackmailed, offered a lot of money... there could be a lot of different reasons. Maybe he was forced into pulling something?"

"Well, Janet hasn't left his bedside since he got here. She might have some ideas," offered Amanda. "But be nice when you ask – she's really upset." She released the brakes on his chair and pulled him back from the table

"Maybe you could come with me?" Lee ventured. "Woman's touch and all that?"

"Well, if you really think I could help..." Amanda was touched that Lee would think of including her.

"Well, people tell you things," he confessed. "You're much better at getting people to talk about personal stuff."

"Aw, thank you, Sweetheart. Of course I will, if you really want me to."

"I do. We can go this afternoon," he said, all eagerness.

"After your tests," she reminded him.

Oh yeah, my tests." Lee slouched down in the chair. "Stupid tests."

He looked over his shoulder with a grouchy expression. "I remember something else I want from my apartment."

"Oh really? What?"

"A bottle of Scotch."

Amanda rolled her eyes as they entered the elevator inside. "Of course, because I'm sure that won't be against hospital rules at all."

"Fine. Then I want you to stay with me tonight."

Amanda crouched down beside him so that they were at eye-level. "Is all of this really bothering you that much?"

"Yes!" he burst out. "It's noisy and creepy and the door doesn't lock on my room and they took away my gun-"

"Lee, it's okay, it's okay!" she put one hand on his arm to soothe him and cupped his face with her other one. "I'll stay as long as I can and this afternoon, while you're doing your tests, I'll go talk to Mr. Melrose about you coming home to stay with me, alright? Do you think you could manage one more night?"

Lee was breathing heavily as he stared into her eyes. He swallowed convulsively and forced himself to take a deep breath. The panicked look in his eyes faded and he nodded. "Yeah. Yeah, I can manage that."

"Good," Amanda kissed him quickly in the moment before the elevator doors opened again. "Let's get these tests done and get you out of here."


	5. Rationalization

"Hello, Sir." Amanda looked nervous as she stepped into Billy's office. She'd waited until Alec Belmont left, not at all sure that IA would approve of her suggestion to have Lee stay with her.

"Oh hello, Amanda!" Billy's jovial grin put her at ease immediately. "How are things going down at the hospital? Scarecrow isn't giving you too much trouble, I hope?"

"Oh no, Sir, not at all. Except, well, he really seems to be so uncomfortable there."

"Yes, so I've heard." Billy tapped the file on the side of his desk. "Dr. Glaser has sent me a report suggesting that Lee is close to burnout from stress. He'd like time to run more tests."

"Oh no, Sir!" When Billy raised his eyebrows at her vehemence, she clenched then released her hands at her sides and tried to speak more calmly. "I mean, he is stressed but being in hospital is making it worse. That was actually what I was coming to talk to you about."

Billy leaned back in his chair. "I'm listening."

Amanda slid into one of the chairs opposite his desk and began to make her case. "Well, this is going to sound crazy, but you know that Lee and I are pretty close friends, since that whole thing in Las Vegas?" Billy's lips twitched as he nodded and she was grateful he had no idea exactly how close she and Lee had gotten on that adventure. "Yes, well, he really seems to be so unhappy at the hospital and I really don't think it's helping him get better or stay off the knee. So I was thinking, that since he really shouldn't be home alone anyway and since my family had already met him… Well, you see, we have that pull-out sofa in the living room so he wouldn't have to climb stairs and I could drive him back and forth to work so that he doesn't have to-"

"Amanda!" Billy interrupted her flow of words. "Are you suggesting that he come stay with you?"

"Yes, Sir. I could even take him home tomorrow once he's on crutches and out of the wheelchair. And if he isn't finished with all his tests, well, I could just drive him back and forth to the hospital until he's done." She held her breath waiting for his reaction.

"You want Scarecrow in your house? In Arlington?" Billy chuckled.

Amanda pressed her lips together to try and stifle an exasperated sigh. "If that's what it takes for Lee to get to leave the hospital, then yes, he is welcome in my home. That's what friends do," she said carefully. "And when he's with my family, that's what he is – my friend, not Scarecrow."

"My mistake," murmured Billy apologetically. "You're quite right. However, have you really thought this through? I mean, you've probably seen Lee at his worst in the past day if he's behaving like he usually does in a hospital, and he's only going to get more difficult to handle as he gets better and thinks he can be up and around on that knee."

"Yes Sir, I can see that there might be… challenges," Amanda selected her words carefully. "But he really should be somewhere where he can have help and I'm willing to do that."

"It would be better than him being alone," Billy agreed. "But what about your family? What would they think?"

"Actually that's my secret weapon, Mr. Melrose." Amanda leaned forward confidingly. "You see, Lee and my mother really hit it off that night he came to my house for dinner – you remember? With the peach puff and the duck and whatnot?" Billy nodded and she continued. "And I think that, even if he was as grumpy with me as he has been today at the hospital, well, I think he'd behave a lot better for my mother."

Billy let loose with a deep yelp of laughter. "Oh, I imagine he would!" He fought to get his laughter under control, pulling out a handkerchief to wipe his eyes. "Okay, Mrs. King. If you can convince Lee to go along with it, I'll tell Dr. Glaser to release him from the hospital."

Amanda leapt to her feet. "Thank you, Sir. I'm sure I can persuade him."

She started to leave the bullpen, ignoring the condescending smirk she got from Francine – she was probably enjoying seeing Amanda in the Bluebell uniform she was still wearing – then stopped short with a groan. Turning abruptly, she walked to her desk, pulled out her chair and sat down to call home.

"Mother," she said when Dotty answered. "I'm sorry. I know you probably just got home but could you do me a huge favor? It's for Lee."

"Of course, dear, anything!"

"I promised him I'd pick up some things for him at his apartment but I had to stop at work and I couldn't get there. Do you think you could take a cab over there collect it, and bring it to the hospital? Lee already called and the doorman is expecting someone; he'll let you in."

"Well, of course I can. What does he need?" Dotty said immediately.

"I talked to our boss and cleared it with him that having Lee come stay with us until his knee gets better isn't a violation of the office rules, so I guess anything you can think of that he'll need for a short stay. Toothbrush, change of clothes, pajamas – you know the sort of thing. Oh! And his favorite comb."

Her mother's rich laugh came down the line. "He has a favorite comb?"

"Don't ask Mother, I can't believe it either," Amanda smiled. "It's on the shelf in the bathroom and it's missing two teeth."

"And it's his favorite?" Dotty gave another snort of laughter. "Well, it must work; he does have lovely hair."

Amanda smothered her own laugh, conscious that she could be overheard. "Yes, he does, Mother. Now if you can pick that up, I'll meet you at the hospital."

"I'll bring more of the pot roast leftovers too," Dotty declared. "He was so happy to see some decent food this morning."

"He'll love that, thank you Mother." Amanda glanced at her watch and winced. "I need to get back to the hospital – you'll be fine to do this, won't you?"

"Of course! I'll see you in a little while!"

* * *

Mr. Feller the doorman couldn't have been nicer about letting Dotty into Lee's apartment.

"Of course, you're not the usual kind of lady friend that Mr. Stetson has visiting him," he chuckled.

"Really?" said Dotty. "Tell me more." She liked her new son-in-law very much, but he was remarkably reticent about sharing anything personal about himself.

"Well, they're not usually anywhere as pretty as you, Mrs. West," Mr. Feller's eyes twinkled at her as he showed her into the elevator for the ride upstairs.

Dotty dimpled at him. "Does he have a lot of lady friends?" she asked archly.

"He used to but lately – just one. Now that Amanda, she's a keeper – just the nicest woman and so pretty. She's done him a world of good. His face just lights up when he sees her."

"How lovely," sighed Dotty.

"Beautiful brown eyes too," grinned the doorman. "Probably got them from her mother."

"Oh," said Dotty guiltily. "You figured that out?"

"The apple didn't fall from the tree in the looks department," he laughed. "But I meant everything I said. Your daughter is lovely, inside and out. And here we are: Mr. Stetson's apartment." He unlocked the door and swung the door open. "There you go. Just pull the door shut when you leave – I'll make sure it's all locked up later."

"Thank you so much," said Dotty stepping and looking around in fascination. "I won't be long."

Mr. Feller sketched off a quick salute and left. Dotty began to walk through the apartment, stopping to study the artwork and Lee's various mementos. He certainly had an eclectic collection, she thought. He must have travelled extensively in this film making job, or maybe travel was just his hobby. She ran a hand over the replica Remington statue, wondering idly if his obvious love of all things cowboy meant he liked to ride – and if so, whether Amanda had confessed about that pesky allergy yet. Eventually, remembering why she was actually there, she moved to the bathroom to collect his toothbrush and comb, and then on to the bedroom to quickly pick out a few changes of clothes, including a pair of sweatpants that she knew would be easy to pull over a knee brace.

As she carried everything to the living room and began to look for a bag to pack it in, there was a knock at the door. She opened it, expecting it to be the doorman but found herself face to face with an older woman, who looked extremely taken aback to find Dotty there.

"Oh! Hello," said the woman uncertainly. "I'm Lydia Lowell." She pointed across the hall to an open door. "Mr. Stetson's neighbor."

"How do you do?" sad Dotty politely. "Lee isn't here right now, I expect he'll be back in a week or so."

"I see." Lydia studied her for a moment then asked, uncertainly, "Will you be seeing Mr. Stetson again, or is this a one night sort of thing?"

Dotty choked back a laugh. "Oh I'll be seeing him again. I think I got myself a good one there – he's an 11, don't you think?"

"Indeed." Lydia went silent again, staring, then finally shook herself. "I have something for him. A delivery. It came this morning. I'll just, uh…" She turned and walked across the hall, pushing open her door and picking up a large box. She brought it back, reading out loud from the card on top as she did so. "To Lee, hurry back, love, the Steno pool."

"Well, isn't that sweet of them?" said Dotty.

"Yes, well," said Lydia. "Women seem to like Mr. Stetson."

"Apparently," said Dotty.

"They bring him things. Many things. Many, many, many, many things," she emphasized.

"Do they?" said Dotty. "I haven't noticed anything like that in his apartment."

"Well, there hasn't been as much lately," admitted Lydia grudgingly. "But I can't see that leopard changing its spots."

"Can't you?" said Dotty, a hint of steel in her tone.

"No," said Lydia baldly. "I don't quite see the attraction myself." She looked Dotty up and down again, leaving it open as to what – or whom – she meant by that. "But I'm sure you _girls_ have your reasons."

"Oh, we do, believe me," said Dotty with saccharine sweetness. "Thank you so much for looking after this for him."

Lydia gave one last disapproving sniff and disappeared back to her apartment. Dotty, after only the briefest struggle with her morals, pulled the lid off the box and reached in to pull out… a toy duck. "With love from the steno pool?" she repeated out loud. She studied the duck for a moment longer then shook her head. "No, I don't think so." She walked to the door, glanced up and down the hallway, then walked quickly to the garbage chute and dropped the duck down it. "Honestly, what are girls like today?" she asked out loud on her way back into Lee's apartment, wiping her hands on each other in the universal symbol for 'that's done'. "Why would they think a grown man would want such a silly thing? Now then Lee, where would you keep a suitcase?"


	6. Drug Trials

"You look exhausted. Were the tests very bad?" asked Amanda after Dr. Chrysler brought him back to the room.

"I don't know. I had to be sedated for these ones apparently," muttered Lee. "More pills, more dreams, more everything!"

"Maybe that's why you look tired," said Amanda, caressing his face with concern. "If the sedation hasn't worn off."

"Maybe," he muttered. "All I know is that I feel worse than ever." He took her hand and kissed her knuckles lightly. "Or at least I did until I saw you. Now I feel much better."

"You say the sweetest things," she replied. "Now let's get you back into the bed."

"You say the sweetest things too," he chuckled. "I thought you'd never ask."

"So you can rest," she said firmly.

"In that case, I want to go talk to Janet first. Please," he added when she looked like she was going to refuse. "You promised! Something happened to Walt and I need to know what. I'll sleep better if I can figure it out," he cajoled her.

"Okay fine," Amanda capitulated with a small sigh. "No more than five minutes though."

"I promise," he nodded. "Look, they've brought my new crutches. Let me just walk there – riding in that chair makes me feel like an invalid."

Amanda didn't argue. She'd found it hard to believe that someone with as much physical energy as Lee had lasted this long being literally pushed around. It was actually a bit of relief to see him getting some of that back; she hadn't wanted to say anything, thinking it was just a side effect of being in hospital, but she had found him oddly passive about the whole ordeal, despite all the complaining.

"Here you go," she said, handing them to him. "But be careful – you're not Superman."

"Well, you can stick close and make sure I don't overdo it."

"Oh, like you ever listen to me," she said, teasing. "But I guess this is 'in sickness' part so I'll just have to put up with you."

"I'll make it up to you when we get back to the 'in health' part," he smiled. "With my body, I thee worship, right?"

"I'll look forward to that," she dimpled back at him.

* * *

They found Walt's wife, weeping silently by his bed.

"Has there been any change?" asked Amanda gently.

"No," she sniffed. "In fact, I think he's getting worse. Not that I blame you, Lee," she rushed on seeing his stricken expression. "They told me what happened and how you saved it from being so much worse. I mean, I just can't believe Walt ever intended to hurt anyone!"

"Janet, what do you think happened?" asked Lee. "Why would Walt do such a thing?"

Janet stopped crying for a moment, taking a deep breath and wiping her eyes. "Well, Dr. Glaser said that the stress finally got to him."

"He was under stress?"

"I think so. I mean, he'd been seeing Dr. Glaser for a few weeks now. He said it was therapy but I don't think it was helping. He'd been looking absolutely exhausted lately, and he… he couldn't sleep. He kept having these horrible dreams."

Lee and Amanda exchanged a glance.

"He was seeing Dr. Glaser?" prompted Amanda. "Before all of this happened?"

"Yes," she sniffed. "He asked him to be in some kind of research thing for his experimental psychology practice. Something about agents and stress, I think."

"And you said he was having dreams? What kind of dreams?" asked Lee.

"Well, I'm not sure, uh . . . uh, noises, uh, a kind of sinking feeling. But he'd wake up absolutely terrified and he could never remember them." She blew her nose in the tissue she was clutching. "I should have paid more attention. But we'd been fighting, and his moods after his sessions didn't help with that, so I would just avoid him, you know? But maybe if I'd given him more support, he wouldn't have had to fight this alone. But it seemed like nothing I did was right!" she wailed, starting to cry again.

"Agent burnout can be very painful for everyone," said Lee. "Sometimes they won't accept help and sometimes they make it difficult for people to offer it. I'm sure Walt wasn't trying to push you away."

Amanda moved closer to Lee, reaching to squeeze his arm gently. He lifted a hand from the crutches and placed it over hers.

"You two are so lucky to have found each other," said Janet, watching them.

"Us?" said Amanda. "Oh we're not… we're just…"

"Yes, we are, we're very lucky" interrupted Lee. "I couldn't ask for a better friend than Amanda." He turned to look at her, his eyes dark with emotion, and Amanda bit her lip to keep her own emotions in check.

"Well, hang onto that," Janet sniffled. "I think that if Walt had felt he could count on me… or anyone… he'd still be with us."

Amanda pulled up another chair and sat down beside her, taking her hand between her own. "You know, Janet, when I went through a bad experience, helping with something at the Agency… well, Lee got me to talk with one of the psychiatrists there and it really helped me."

"Walt was doing that and it didn't help him at all!" Janet pointed out, starting to cry again.

"Well," said Amanda, looking at Lee for confirmation. "I didn't see Dr. Glaser, I saw someone else. She's very nice and I think she could help you through this. I mean, I don't like to say anything bad about anyone, but I don't really like Dr. Glaser. I can't imagine that he's very good at the therapy side of psychiatry."

"But why was he trying to help Walt then?"

Lee cleared his throat and joined back in. "Honestly? I wouldn't be surprised if he was using him as a kind of guinea pig. Some of the projects he was working on when I knew him were about agent burnout – he may have been less interested in helping Walt and more in studying him."

"So he really had no one," commented Janet sadly.

Amanda had no answer for that; she simply slipped an arm around Janet's shoulders and held her while she cried again.

* * *

"Oh Lee, that was just awful! That poor woman," sighed Amanda when they got back to his room.

As Lee leaned back against the bed, she took the crutches from him and put them against the wall. As she turned back, he seized her hand and reeled her back into the circle of his arms, dropping his head to rest against hers. "I meant what I said in there," he said, his deep voice gravelly with emotion. "You are my best friend."

"You're mine too," she said, turning her head to kiss his cheek.

"I'm glad you're here," he added. "Without you, this would have been… Well, I feel like it could have ended up like it did for Walt."

Amanda stepped back to look at him. "Oh Sweetheart, no! No, it wouldn't. I know being here is making you stressed, but Walt wasn't well. Janet said he'd been ill for weeks! That's not you."

"It could have been me," he said, reaching to hold her hands. "I was alone – I even thought I liked it. But if I'd burned out, who would have been there? What if I'd turned violent like he did?"

"You just wouldn't," said Amanda. "That's just not you."

"You seem so sure, but you hardly know me."

"I know you," she smiled softly at him. "You're kind and caring and protective."

"I'm also trained to put all that aside in order to do my job," he reminded her.

"I don't believe you put it aside; I think you use that training to help and protect people. And you won't end up like Walt," Amanda said firmly. "Not on my watch."

"I like being on your watch," said Lee, pulling her in for a light kiss.

"Oh gosh! I'm sorry!"

They leapt apart and turned to stare at Barbie the candy striper who had just walked in and was looking mortified at having caught them in a clinch.

"Oh my gosh, Barbie! We didn't hear you come in!" exclaimed Amanda. "We were just, uh…"

"I was just thanking Amanda for taking such good care of me," said Lee. "She's really helped me through a bad patch."

"Oh! That's so sweet!" said Barbie.

"What can we help you with?" asked Amanda, smoothing out her apron and praying she wasn't too flushed and guilty looking.

"Help me? Oh! That's right – I almost forgot!" Barbie looked down at the files she was carrying. "A nurse asked me to bring these upstairs, and I've been delivering them to the patients whose names are on them. Here you go!"

She held out a file and Lee took it automatically. He flipped it open and Amanda saw his lips twitch. "Um, Barbie- these are my blood test results. I think you're probably supposed to have taken these to the nursing station to be added to my file there."

"Really?" Barbie stared down at the files in her hands. "Oh no! I've handed out like twenty of these already!" she wailed.

"Do you remember who got them?" asked Amanda, managing to barely hide her amusement.

"I think so?" said the candy striper. "Here. Can you hold these while I run around and get the others back?" She shoved the files into Amanda's hands and ran out of the room.

"Barbie, I don't think-" Amanda tried to call her back. "That you should have left these here," she groaned, giving up as the door swung shut behind her. "I don't have a lot of faith in the security of patient information at this hospital anymore." She turned to look at Lee, the smile on her face wiped away from the look on his face as he stared down at the file.

"Amanda, there is some really weird stuff in here."

"What kind of weird?"

He pointed to a few lines in the middle of the page. "This tox screen – look at all the stuff it lists."

Amanda looked where he'd indicated then looked at him, brows raised. "What is any of that stuff?" She did a double take. "Wait – it says you have morphine in you?"

"I'd expect after an injury, actually," he answered. "They would have given me pain killers when I came in." he pointed to another line. "But this one? Phencyclidine? Do you realize what that is?"

She shook her head. "Not a clue. Looks scary though."

"It's PCP," Lee said, grimly. "And I can't see think of a single reason I'd be showing up positive for that." He looked down at the list again and whistled. "Oh boy. I need to tell someone about this."

"You want me to call Mr. Melrose?"

"Not Billy!" he said instantly, then shook himself when Amanda turned a shocked look on him. "I have no idea why I said that," he said in confusion. "I mean, obviously Billy is who we should call."

"It's that serious? Couldn't you be misreading the drug name?" asked Amanda.

"No – that's definitely PCP – and do you know what it does?"

"Makes people crazy," she answered promptly.

"Makes them angry, causes hallucinations, vivid dreams, induces paranoia. In other words, me for the past two days."

"And Walt," said Amanda without thinking.

"That's right," Lee nodded. "It can make people psychotic. But that's not the only reason I want to call Billy." He pointed to another item to the list. "Sodium pentathol."

"Why does that sound so familiar?" she asked, wrinkling her nose up in concentration.

"Because you've probably heard it in a movie," he said. "It's used as truth serum."

Amanda's eyes went wide with shock. "Truth serum? Why would anyone be giving you that?"

"That's a damn good question. And the fact that some of Glaser's experiments involved exactly that is making me even more angry and paranoid than the PCP I might have in me!" Lee snarled. He began to hop around the bed to reach the phone.

"Oh my gosh!"

Lee turned to look at Amanda who was frozen in place and had gone pale.

"What's the matter? What's wrong?" he asked.

"I just remembered why sodium pentathol sounded so familiar," she began to babble. "I was reading Mother's library book the other day and it was one by her favorite mystery novelist and you know how they're always looking for ways to murder someone without it looking suspicious?"

Lee resisted the temptation to lose his temper with some difficulty. "Yeah, so? Get to the point!"

"The bad guy is a nurse in the hospital and he slips sodium pentathol into the victim's bloodstream while he's unconscious."

"Why would you give it to someone who's unconscious?" Lee asked. "They couldn't tell you anything."

"Because it also induces comas," she answered. "And then he just kept increasing the dose until the victim died, and no one was the wiser."

Lee stared at her for a beat before he realized what she was saying. "Walt!"

"Janet said he was getting worse. What if…?" Amanda left the question unfinished.

"Oh my God." Lee seized the phone and dialed Billy's direct line. When Billy answered, he felt a wash of dread come over him, unlike anything he'd experienced before. Swallowing hard to get rid of the sour taste in his mouth at the sound of his boss' voice, he began to speak, too agitated to care that he was barely making sense. "Billy, it's me. You need to get down here. I think Ted Glaser may be trying to kill me."

Billy sighed. "Now Scarecrow, I know you don't like the man, but don't you think you're overreacting just a bit?"

"No, Billy! It's not that! I think he's trying to kill Walt and I think I'm next! My blood tests came back and the tox screen says I'm being drugged!"

Billy realized from the frantic note in Lee's voice that he needed to placate him. "And why would you even be seeing your own blood tests?" he said in his best soothing voice. "Have you been getting enough rest? You seem a little scrambled."

"Billy! Listen to me! You need to get here! Bring a team!" Lee was shouting down the handset in frustration now.

Amanda took the phone from him and laid her other hand on his chest to calm him. "Mr. Melrose? It's me, Amanda."

"Oh good," responded Billy with relief. "You're there. Is Lee alright? It sounds like maybe you should be calling hospital security if he's getting-"

"Mr. Melrose!" she interrupted. "Everything he's saying is true. He has drugs in his system that shouldn't be there. PCP, truth serum…"

"Oh come now, Amanda," Billy expostulated. "That sounds like something out of a movie! Now I'm sure Lee is very convincing but that's impossible."

"Mr. Melrose, please listen to me. I'm looking at the results myself. They got delivered to his room by mistake but there's no doubt about this. There is phen-cycle…"

"Phencyclidine," supplied Lee loudly.

"And sodium pentathol and morphine," Amanda pressed on.

There was a long silence at the end of the phone line, before Billy finally said. "Amanda, is there any possibility Lee took those himself?"

"No Sir!" she exclaimed. She turned her back on Lee when his brows lifted questioningly. "Absolutely not! You know that!" she hissed at her boss.

"You're right. I do know that," sighed Billy. "But if not him, then who?"

"We think it might be Dr. Glaser," she began to explain but Lee had had enough and snatched the phone back.

"It's Ted Glaser, Billy! I'm sure of it. It's his M.O. – remember all those experiments with truth serums that went nowhere?" He could feel his control slipping and fought to hold on to it. "And the PCP? That could explain what happened to Walt! You know it does – Walt Kimball would never hurt a fly up and now he's waving a gun around the bullpen – you saw it!"

"Actually, I didn't," said Billy. "I was stuck in a meeting remember?" He paused. "Okay, I'm going to come down there and I'll bring a few people, just in case."

"Only a few people?" Lee's voice went back up.

"Scarecrow, I can't come in there with a SWAT team – you're in a hospital for God's sake, and even if you're right, Ted Glaser is hardly enough of a threat to warrant one."

"Fine," grumbled Lee. "Just hurry up."

"I will – and you stay out of trouble until I get there, you hear? No charging off on your own!"

"Billy!"

"I mean it! Say it out loud so I know Amanda knows it too: I promise not to go do anything by myself".

"Billy, come on!"

"Say it!"

"I promise not to go do anything by myself," Lee mumbled.

""We're on our way."

Lee hung on the phone and looked at Amanda. "We have to do something!"

"You _just_ promised-!"

"I know, I know!" Lee ran his hands over his head. "Okay, how about this? Do you think that Barbie took any blood test results into Walt's room?"

"Oh!" Amanda straightened up as she saw where he was going. "She might have – should I go look?" She could see Lee fighting with himself over letting her do it. "I can be there and back in a few seconds compared to you hobbling down there. And _I_ didn't promise Mr. Melrose anything!" she delivered her clinching argument.

Lee perked up. "That's right! You didn't! Okay, go! Go!"

However, as Amanda opened the door and check the corridor, they were both startled by the sound of a scream.

"What on earth?" Amanda exclaimed, stepping out as Lee hobbled toward the door as fast as he could. Amanda darted down the hall toward the sound, realizing as she did so that someone in a white lab coat was moving away at almost a run. She ran to Walt's room, stopping short in amazement as the door swung open and her mother came out, looking disheveled.

"Mother!" she exclaimed, running forward. "What happened?"

"Well, I was balancing the bag with Lee's things and the pot roast I promised I'd bring and my purse and I guess I got confused about room numbers because I walked into this one by mistake! And there was a doctor standing there and he was doing something to the machine and I was so surprised because, you know, of course, I thought it was Lee's room so I just asked him what he was doing and he jumped about a foot off the ground and then he, well, he just whirled around and ran out the door and knocked me down while he was doing it! I went flying, my bags went flying… thank heavens I had the pot roast in Tupperware or we'd be covered in it!"

"Oh my gosh, are you ok?" Amanda was running her hand over her mother, looking for breaks or bruises.

"I think so, but the poor man in the room! I think that man did something to the machine!"

Amanda stepped around her and into Walt's room. Janet was nowhere to be seen, although it was hardly surprising if she'd gone for a break after so many hours at his bedside. But it was the machine that had her full attention. Her mother was right - the machine that should have been giving off a reassuring beeping sound was silent. She leapt forward and slammed her hand against the alarm bell on the wall.

"Come on Walt!" she said turning to the bed. "No giving up on us now!" She leaned on his chest, counting in rhythm as she started CPR. She'd barely managed more than a few thrusts before a nurse flew into the room.

"Mrs. King! What is going on?"

"Someone unplugged his machine!" Amanda panted, gesturing to the dark screen with a tilt of her head.

"My God!" She turned as a second nurse arrived, pushing a crash cart. "Stand back Mrs. King, we'll take it from here!"

Amanda moved out of their way and out the door where Dotty was still standing in the hallway, looking stunned.

"Will he be alright?" she asked with an anxious expression.

"I'm sure he will, Mother," said Amanda, putting an arm around her and guiding her back towards Lee's room. "The right people are taking care of him now."

Lee was standing, braced in his doorway, watching them approach. "What happened to Walt?"

"I think I interrupted a murder!" exclaimed Dotty dramatically. "There was a man dressed as a doctor in his room turning off his life support!"

Startled, Lee's eyes met Amanda's over Dotty's head. When she nodded in answer to his unspoken question, he wrapped an arm around Dotty and drew her into his room, helping her into a chair and then hobbling back to lean against the bed. "It was a man dressed as a doctor?" he asked. "Are you sure?"

"Well, he was wearing a white coat," said Dotty.

"He was. I saw him running away," said Amanda.

"Anyone you'd recognize?" Lee asked.

"I don't think so," answered Dotty, just as Amanda said "Maybe."

"Maybe?" Lee questioned.

Amanda shrugged. "I know who it looked like, but he was pretty far away by the time I saw him." She mouthed "_Glaser_" at Lee.

"Did he hurt you?" said Lee, turning back to Dotty. "Amanda, you should call Security."

"No, just a few bumps and bruises from being knocked down," Dotty answered with a slight tremble in her voice, as the shock began to hit her.

"I'm sure Security is on the way," said Amanda. "The nurses will have called them."

"Maybe you should take your mother downstairs to get checked out," suggested Lee, jerking his head toward the door.

"Oh no," said Amanda, realizing instantly why he was trying to get rid of them. "We couldn't possibly leave you alone if there's a murderer running around!"

"Well, actually, I am starting to feel a little shaky," said Dotty. "And my arm hurts. Maybe I should have that looked at…"

Amanda pressed her lips together and glared at Lee, torn between wanting to help her mother and keeping him from going after Glaser. "Fine," she said at last. "But you stay here!" She jabbed a finger at Lee, sighing when he looked back at her with an expression that clearly he said he was going to do no such thing. "People are on their way to help," she reminded him. "You don't have to do anything."

"Of course not," said Lee. "I'll just wait here."

"Amanda?" said Dotty faintly. "Can we just go? I'm sure Lee will be fine."

Amanda turned, aghast by the look of pain that was now evident on her mother's face. "Oh my gosh! Let's get you some help, Mother!" She seized the wheelchair that was still in the corner of Lee's room and helped Dotty into it, before turning back to Lee.

"Please don't do anything that will get you in trouble," she pleaded, as she pushed the chair out into the hallway.

Lee didn't answer; they both knew that any promise he made would be a lie.


	7. Lab Tests

The nurses were all distracted trying to revive Walt, but Barbie the candy striper had been very helpful indeed in giving Lee directions to Glaser's laboratory space in the basement.

"I go by it all the time on my way to the laundry!" she chirped. "It's creepy down there; sometime I pretend I'm in a horror movie and think up all the ways I could escape the guy with the ax! Anyway – the quickest way down for here is by that service elevator!" She pointed to the large cage elevator at the end of the hall and after a quick glance around to make sure no one was watching, Lee hobbled toward it.

As he descended in the elevator, he began having flashbacks to his nightmares and when a blast of steamy air hit him as he stepped out, it all began to crystalize. He inched his way down the badly-lit corridor; Barbie had told him it was about half way along and sure enough, soon he could see a blue door, halfway open, and heard voices inside. He flattened himself against the wall and listened.

"I thought you said you knew where our experiment with Kimball went awry! Why is Stetson managing to resist it?" Glaser was raging at his assistant.

"I don't know!" Chrysler sounded equally frustrated. "Everything seemed to be fine that first day, but the measurements dropped off on the second round. That's what confuses me – he should have been much more susceptible by then. It always works best when the subject is inclined to anger and we had everything in place with Scarecrow! We kept him in hospital which we know is a trigger for him, we put him on a liquid diet so he'd be hungry and irritable, and we drove a wedge between him and Billy Melrose by making Melrose responsible for keeping him here! But all these blood tests show that none of that is having any effect whatsoever!"

"Damn it, we don't have time for this! Melrose is giving that speech tomorrow! I want Stetson going down in a hail of bullets after killing Melrose in front of a room full of law enforcement officers!"

"Well that's going to be a problem since Melrose called today saying he wanted him discharged today, Apparently he's got some friend who's willing to look after him until his knee is better."

"That's ridiculous! Stetson doesn't have any friends!"

Outside the door, Lee bit back a reaction to that.

"Oh don't look at me like that," Glaser went on. "I mean, of course he has _friends_. Co-workers, acquaintances, one-night stands! But he's not close to anyone. He prides himself on being a lone wolf – it's what made him perfect for our purposes!"

"Well, he must have at least one - and we've run out of time to do anything else," replied Chrysler in his lugubrious tones.

"Not so fast," Glaser snapped his fingers. "He's still here, right? So we can insist he complete another set of lab tests before we release him. Melrose can't complain about that – after all, what kind of doctor would I be if I just released Stetson without a thorough once-over?"

"You want him brought down? Now?" asked Chrysler.

"Yes, right now," said Glaser. "If Kimball's been discovered, that will be providing enough of a distraction that no one will question Stetson being taken for another set of tests so soon after the last batch."

"Fine, I'll go fetch our lab rat."

Lee straightened up and gripped his crutches as he heard Chrysler move toward the door and the instant that the doctor stepped past the threshold, Lee brought one of them right up under his chin, sending him stumbling backward.

"What the-" Glaser yelled, stopping dead as Lee wheeled into view around the door. "Stetson! How did you get here?"

"I just followed the stench of something rotten," Lee responded though gritted teeth. "And now your little experiment is done."

"Oh really, Scarecrow," drawled Glaser. "You think you can take on two of us in your condition?"

Lee glanced at Chrysler who was still on the floor, shrieking in pain and clutching his nose which was spouting an impressive amount of blood. "Actually," he answered with contempt. "Yes, I do."

Glaser jumped to one side, and grabbed a lethal looking scalpel off a nearby tray. He began circling, keeping the large chair in the middle of the room between them, and waving the scalpel in front of him while Lee tensed, alert for his attack. As Glaser passed the chair, he suddenly flipped a small switch and a film projector burst into life.

"_What a guy. Keep up the good work. Details are important. Success comes one step at a time_," said a familiar voice from the speakers.

Lee felt that same wave of unrelenting dread he'd felt upstairs sweep over him. He glanced at the screen where he could see a series of pictures over and over, all scenes of violence: explosions, gunshots, bombs going off and a pair of eyes that seemed to stare right into his soul. His ears began to buzz and his mouth filled with the bitter taste of bile. Through the haze though, he saw Glaser begin to edge to the doorway and shook himself free of his trance.

"Stop right there," he croaked, swaying slightly as he raised a crutch.

"Now, now Lee," said Glaser. "You are doing so well. Lester has a job for you – do you want to hear what it is?"

Lee shook himself again, trying to resist the thrall of his words. "No, I… no," he uttered uneasily. ""I don't…"

"Lester says you need to forget all about me," intoned Glaser as he backed toward the door. "Lester says you should only remember to kill Billy Melrose tomorrow at 12 o'clock. Do you understand?"

"No, that's not right," said Lee. He shook his head again and gripped the crutches. "Billy's my friend."

"Lester says Billy Melrose deserves to die, Scarecrow."

"No," said Lee, more firmly. "No, he doesn't." With one final wrench to regain control, he stepped forward and swung a crutch at Glaser, managing a glancing blow to his head but then the doctor staggered back toward him, kicking out and managing to hit Lee's injured knee. Lee screamed in pain and tumbled to the ground, scrambling to get away from the advancing scalpel as Glaser pursued him. Finally, backed into a corner and still fighting the paralysing fear of that cartoon voice, Lee could only watch as Glaser lifted his weapon for the final blow.

"Lester says it's your time to die, Scarecrow" smirked the doctor.

An instant later, Glaser's face went blank and he dropped down in front of Lee like a stone.

"Lester is an idiot," said Amanda, dropped the fire extinguisher she'd just hit him with and ran to crouch beside Lee, pulling him into a tight hug. "Oh my gosh! I was so worried! Are you okay?"

"Amanda! What are you doing here?" Lee wrapped his arms around her, clinging as if his life depended on it.

"I could say the same thing to you!" she said, hotly. "I told you not to go charging off and what did you do the minute my back was turned?"

"Where's your mother?"

"Oh, I left her in the emergency room. There was a handsome doctor there to distract her and I told her I'd be right back. I knew you'd be doing something like this!"

Amanda let him go long enough to reach and turn off the film projector and Lee could feel the tension leave his body as the squeaky voice stopped.

"How much did you hear?"

"Enough to know he deserves that bump on his head," Amanda answered, "Come on, let's get you out of here."

"No, we need to tie them up first," said Lee wearily, waving at the two men.

"I'll do that," replied Amanda. "You can call Security or something," she went on, as she began to rummage through drawers for something to bind them with. "Oh, how nice," she said sarcastically as she pulled out a pair of handcuffs and dangled them in front of her.

"Just a regular day at Doctor Frankenstein's office," quipped Lee as he dragged himself upright using the file cabinet drawer handles, then limped toward the phone.

"Or our honeymoon," joked Amanda. "There's only one set though," she added after going through the drawer more thoroughly.

"Cuff them together around the radiator," said Lee over his shoulder as he dialled.

"Gee, why do I get the feeling you've done this before?" she answered.

Lee watched as Amanda dragged Glaser by his pant legs to lie beside Chrysler and cuffed them as he'd suggested. After a brief – but very vehement – conversation with the Security department, he dropped the phone back in its cradle and turned to Amanda, holding his arms open again, hugging her tightly when she walked straight into them.

"See? I told you bad stuff always happens to me in hospitals," he said.

"You're right. We should get you out of this one as soon as possible," she agreed.

There was the sound of running footsteps in the corridor and they stepped apart regretfully, just before Francine burst in, followed by a few other agents.

"Oh!" she said, obviously startled. "Amanda! I wasn't expecting…" She looked around at the two men on the floor and the litter of things around them. "I see you've been busy."

Lee reached to the desk nearby and picked up a file that was lying on it. "I think we'll find everything we need to convict these bozos in there," he said, exhaustion starting to set in as the adrenaline wore off. "To say nothing of the drugs and everything else they probably have in here."

"_Lee Stetson_" Francine read out loud from the file cover. "These are your medical records… are you sure you want me to…?"

"Look at the first page," said Lee, slumping back against the desk.

Francine flipped open the cover and skimmed, then looked up with horror. "They were trying to kill Billy?"

"And me," he nodded. He pointed at the file cabinet. "I'd look and see if they have a file on Walt Kimball too – Glaser tried to kill him this afternoon. And he would have managed it too if it hadn't been for-"

"Oh my gosh! My mother!" exclaimed Amanda. "I told her I'd be right back! You'll be okay by yourself? I have to get back to her!"

"Lee has managed many years without your help, Amanda," said Francine acidly. "I'm sure it will make no difference if you toddle back to your mother." As Lee and Amanda exchanged a speaking look, she went on, "Besides, this crime scene is now under our control so it's best if you just get out of our way before you contaminate any evidence."

"Well, thank you so much," said Amanda under her breath as she edged to the door. She glanced back at Lee who mouthed "s_orry"_ at her with an apologetic look. She paused in the doorway with a mischievous look. "Oh Francine," she said sweetly. "Just so you know, I've already contaminated the scene. The fingerprints on the extinguisher are mine – from when I knocked out Dr. Glaser. I wouldn't want you to have to look too hard for a match."

With a little wave and a wink at Lee, she whisked herself away.

Francine turned to Lee, looking stunned. He was hard pressed not laugh but managed to simply shrug and say nonchalantly, "I guess you shouldn't underestimate a housewife."


	8. The Pursuit of Happiness

Billy couldn't hold in his chuckle as he reviewed the entire thing with Lee the next day back at the Agency. Lee was lounging in one chair with his bad leg supported in another one. Amanda was perched on a third seat, hands in her lap and leaning in with fascination as Billy explained what they'd found in Glaser's files.

"It's unbelievable, Scarecrow. Apparently their entire scheme fell to pieces because of your serotonin and dopamine levels."

"What does that mean, Sir?" asked Amanda.

"Well, it seems that Ted Glaser was working on a method of using a combination of drugs and hypnosis to harness an innate aggression in his test subjects."

"Aggression? But Lee isn't aggressive!" she glanced at Lee, who smiled at her lazily, a warm sparkle in his eyes.

"I felt pretty aggressive toward Glaser," he commented with a chuckle. "And remember what I said about my training? There is that element in me, or I wouldn't be a good agent."

"Yes, but," Amanda paused and looked at Billy, then back at Lee. "But I stand by what I said then – you don't use that instinct for aggression, you use it for protection."

"I agree with you, Amanda," said Billy. "But Ted Glaser doesn't see those shades of gray. He just saw a good agent and attempted to twist that for his own purposes."

"Did he really think he could make Lee … do what he said he wanted him to do?" Amanda couldn't even make herself say the words "kill you".

"Well, that's where the drugs and hypnosis comes in," interjected Lee. "When you look at the tapes and stuff he was feeding me all those hours, he was setting me up to believe that we needed protecting from Billy. It was pretty clever actually."

"But it didn't work?" Amanda asked. "I mean, obviously, since you're not trying to, um-"

"Kill me?" supplied Billy. "No, it didn't work."

"Okay, now this might be a silly question, but with all those drugs and the movies and the hypnosis and all that stuff – _why_ didn't it work? You said Lee had something else that stopped it?"

"That's the best part," Billy's laugh was turning wheezy now. "Apparently it didn't work because Lee was in a good mood."

Amanda sat back, confused. She stared at Billy, then at Lee, and back at Billy, before leaning forward and saying in a confiding tone, "Oh no, Sir. I can assure you he was not. He was really not at _all_ in a good mood." She turned to give Lee an apologetic look as he laughed. "No really, you were grumpy and miserable and rude to the nurses. The only person you weren't rude to was my mother and that was only because she brought you something to eat."

Billy chuckled harder and tapped the file in front of him. "Chrysler's notes say you're wrong."

"Is that what the dopey thing was?" she asked.

"Dopamine. Yes and serotonin. Markers for both were found in Lee's tests – and they were much higher than they should have been, given that he was supposed to be starving and unhappy."

"Ohhhhh," said Amanda. She looked at Lee. "The pot roast," they said together and began to laugh.

"By the time that second set of tests was done, I should have been ready to kill anybody, let alone Billy, just from sheer hunger, but since I was full of pot roast and succotash-"

"And a chocolate bar," added Amanda.

""And a chocolate bar," grinned Lee. "So because I wasn't hungry, the dose of drug they gave me was much too low."

"No one will believe it," chuckled Billy. "Lee Stetson was in a hospital and was in too good a mood to be brainwashed."

"So my mother saved the day? With leftovers?" asked Amanda, stunned.

"She definitely helped," agreed Lee.

"And she can never know?" she asked.

"She can never know," Lee nodded. "But I can still buy her a big bouquet of flowers for no reason, can't I? Just because she was nice enough to visit me in the hospital, for instance. Or as a get-well arrangement for her poor wrist."

"She'd like that," Amanda smiled. "Even though it did just turn out to be a bad sprain."

"Or maybe just as a thank you for putting up with you as a house guest," pointed out Billy. "If you're still willing, Amanda?"

As Amanda nodded, Lee interrupted. "I don't need to impose on Amanda and her family, Billy. I can just stay at my apartment, rest up there – Amanda doesn't need to chauffeur me around anymore."

"But Lee," Amanda started to say. "It wouldn't be any trouble-"

"Actually, Scarecrow, she will," interjected Billy. "Since Glaser didn't do any of the required tests for your physical…"

"Oh no…no, no, no, NO!" said Lee. "Come one, Billy! You can't send me back in there!"

"They're expecting you at the hospital in the morning," said Billy with a note of finality. "However-"

Lee looked up, his expression hopeful.

"You don't have to stay in the hospital for the tests," Billy went on. "As long as I can trust you to show up." He looked over at Amanda. "And I will put Amanda in charge of making sure you do."

"Wait," said Lee. "Why?"

"I think he's saying that if you don't do as you're told, I'll get in trouble," said Amanda. "And you wouldn't want that, now would you?"

Lee opened and closed his mouth, then glared at Billy. "That's dirty pool and you know it."

"Hey, Scarecrow, I'm just counting on all that home cooking to keep you happy so you don't murder me," grinned Billy, spreading his hands as if that explained everything.

"Fine," said Lee grumpily, struggling to his feet as Amanda jumped up to help him. "I'll do your stupid physical, but then I want two weeks off!"

"One week," replied Billy. "And you have to apologize to all the nurses on your floor for everything you said to them."

When Lee's expression said he was about to argue, Amanda stepped in. "I'll make sure he does that, Sir. Now come on, Lee, here's your cane. Try not to hit anyone with it. I'll drive you to your apartment and we can pick up anything else you need." She began to push a still-protesting Lee out the office door. "And if you don't have any earplugs, we can stop at the drug store and get some because you know, Phillip got that part in the school play and he's been practicing his lines every day after school and sometimes he gets, well a little enthusiastic…" she looked back at Billy, giving him a small smile as they went out the door. "Well anyway, trust me, you'll want the ear plugs."

"Scarecrow, wait! I just remembered something!" Billy snapped his fingers and waved for them to come back. "In his interrogation, Chrysler said something about having sent a trigger for the hypnosis to your apartment – a package containing a toy or something that would set you off. So, in the interests of my health, get Amanda to check any mail you got while you were away, alright?"

"I can do that, Sir," agreed Amanda. "Did he say what we should be looking for?"

"It was some kind of duck?" Billy sounded uncertain. "He said it was a toy with one of those ring pulls that makes it talk."

"Lester the Duck," said Lee, suddenly looking queasy.

Billy looked alarmed as he took in Lee's ashen pallor. "You're not about to have some kind of flashback are you?" he asked, pushing back from his desk in a defensive measure. "Is just mentioning the duck enough to set you off?"

"No, no," said Lee, closing his eyes and taking long deep breaths. "It's not a flashback – it's just of wave of nausea, like a panic attack, or something." He opened his eyes and smiled tiredly at his boss. "If I was going to come after you, it would be because you're making me do that stupid physical."

"Anyway, you don't need to worry – I'll make sure it isn't there," Amanda soothed Lee. "And a big fella like you isn't afraid of a little toy duck, is he?" she added.

Billy gave a muffled snort as Lee looked at them both with a displeased expression.

"I don't know why you're laughing, Billy. If I see it by accident, I might still have a reaction." He waggled his fingers at his boss like a bogeyman.

"I have great faith in Amanda's abilities to persuade you otherwise," grinned Billy, still chuckling.

"Thank you, Sir," beamed Amanda. "Now come on, Elmer, I hear it's duck hunting season."

There was a noticeable lightening of Lee's expression. "Nah, it's wabbit hunting season," he retorted.

"Duck," said Amanda firmly as she turned him back toward the door, lips twitching.

"Wabbit," said Lee over his shoulder, starting to grin from ear to ear.

"See you later, Sir," said Amanda with a small wave from the doorway.

Billy watched them cross the bullpen, chuckling again as the phrase "wabbit season" floated back to him as Lee continued to let Amanda tease him back into a good mood.

"Great faith in Amanda's abilities," he said to himself. "Great faith, indeed."


	9. Whiskey in a Teacup

The living room couch hadn't yet been set up into a bed, and Amanda had made up a fire in the fireplace so that she and Lee could relax in front of it. The doors to the living room remained firmly open, even though the boys had long since gone to bed and Dotty had informed them in arch tones that she was off to have her nightly bubble bath and wouldn't be back down to bother them.

"You don't mind, do you?" asked Amanda as they leaned back against the cushions, Lee's arm around her shoulder and hers snaked behind his back, head on his shoulder. "It's just, well, one of the boys could come down looking for me, and they wouldn't think about knocking, even if the doors were closed…"

"Don't be silly, of course I don't mind," Lee pacified her by dropping a light kiss on her lips. "Even if I didn't have this stupid broken knee, I am perfectly content to spend the evening with you like this – just like I have all the other times I've come for dinner."

"I thought, maybe…" Amanda paused, as Lee lifted a brow. "I thought maybe you'd think because you were staying over though…"

To her relief, rather than take offense, Lee gave a snort of laughter. "How much of a hound dog do you think I am? Because if I was trying to get to third base with you, I could have come up with a lot less convoluted plan!"

"Well, your reputation does precede you in the steno pool." Her eyes went wide and she suddenly pulled out of his arms and sat up straight. "Oh my gosh! The steno pool! I can't believe I almost forgot to tell you!" She rested a hand on his chest, beaming.

"Tell me what?" Her smile was infectious and he was almost lost in the sparkle in her eyes. "What has the steno pool done now?"

"Nothing! But I know why we couldn't find Lester at the apartment! It was Mother!"

"You've lost me – how does your mother know about…" Lee swallowed heavily, still almost unable to say the name. "… the duck?"

"She doesn't know, not really," said Amanda earnestly. "But do you remember that I asked her to go by your apartment to get your stuff yesterday?"

"Yeah, that's why she was back at the hospital for the whole thing," he nodded.

"Exactly! Well, while she was there, your neighbour from across the hall came by with the package with him in it! And your playboy reputation is probably in trouble, by the way, because she thought Mother was your latest conquest and Mother went along with it."

"Dotty is my latest conquest," said Lee smugly. "You know I'm her favorite son-in-law."

Amanda slapped him lightly on the chest as she giggled. "Anyway, you know what she's like, so the minute your neighbor left, she opened the box because it had a big note on top that it was from the steno pool with loooooove." Amanda sing-songed out the last word.

"Of course she did," sighed Lee. "I think your mother would have made an excellent intelligence agent."

"She thinks so too," Amanda answered. "Anyway, so she opened it, took one look at you-know-who and dumped him down the garbage chute!"

"She didn't!" said Lee in awe.

"She most certainly did. She said the steno pool might have great taste in men, but their taste in presents was terrible. She said he was cheap-looking and that the panda you brought me while we were looking after Alexi was far superior!" Amanda clasped her hands together and beamed at him. "So even without the pot roast, it seems like my mother was always going to be the hero in the story!"

"That is… amazing and just what I should have expected from her. I'll tell Billy to send an evidence team to check the dumpster for it," Lee shook his head, with a rueful laugh, then turned a little serious again. "But you know, Amanda, it wasn't just the pot roast that saved me."

"No?" Amanda smiled fondly at him, resting her hands against his chest, fingers spread.

"No," he replied firmly. "You know, when I woke up that first morning in the hospital, I was well on my way to doing everything Glaser wanted me to do. I was anxious, angry, depressed, you name it."

"Really? You didn't seem that bad to me," she questioned, studying his serious expression.

"That's because when you walked in… well it was like the sun came out," he said. "No, really," he went on, when she started to smile. "I know that sounds soppy and sentimental and romantic, but honestly, I was so happy to see you it felt like a huge weight had been lifted off my chest. Seeing you and your mother come in and both of you so intent on looking after me – it made a difference."

"Oh Lee." Amanda lifted a hand and swiped it across her eyes. "As if I'd have been anywhere else."

"You heard Janet Kimball – Walt had a wife, but they'd been fighting and when he needed support she wasn't there. He was easy pickings because he was already so unhappy that he just played right into their hands. That could have been me. What did Glaser say? They thought I was a lone wolf? And when I first knew him, back when he was at the Agency, I was exactly that – I didn't let anyone in. If I hadn't met you, married you… asked you not to annul this… I'd have been alone and he would have succeeded. Billy can joke all he wants about the pot roast but the truth is, I was happy because of _you_. You saved me."

Amanda gave off a choked sob and managed a tremulous smile. "Sweetheart, I know the saying is _Happy wife, happy life_," she tried to tease him, "but you seem to be taking it to extremes." She ran her fingers through his hair and finished with lightly scratching his scalp as she leaned her forehead against his.

"And are you a happy wife?" Lee asked, hooking a finger under her chin to get her to look up again. He was smiling but she could tell it was a serious question.

"Very," she answered, leaning in to kiss him softly.

"It doesn't bother you that this is all still a secret, except for your mother?" he pressed on. "That we don't live together yet or do normal married people things?

"No, Sweetheart, it really doesn't," she shook her head. "I still think it's a good idea for us to get to know each other – I mean, really know each other, before we let anyone think it's really serious, especially Phillip and Jamie. It hasn't been that long since the divorce and I want them to be happy about it – although I don't think that will be a problem! But we should be absolutely certain we don't want that annulment first."

"After all the things we've been through since we met, I can't imagine many things that would make me want to get that annulment, Amanda." His finger ran along her cheek.

"Me neither," she admitted. "But for now, we can just go along as we are, right? People at the office suspect we're dating, the boys like you, but I'd like them to be more used to you before we tell them it's anything official. I mean you can't just move in one day. Imagine the scandal of the PTA if it look like I married you after such a short time dating!"

There was a beat and then they both began to laugh.

"Can you imagine how they'd react if they knew the truth?" Lee struggled to say between snorts of laughter.

"I'd either be barred from everything or invited everywhere just so they could ask all about it," Amanda chuckled. "But if we wait a while and then say we went off for a quiet courthouse ceremony… I don't think anyone I know will be that surprised."

"People I know sure will be," Lee admitted. "Like you said, my reputation precedes me."

"Do you care what they think?" asked Amanda.

"Not even a little bit," he said candidly, pulling her in for a sizzling kiss.


End file.
